Jeremy. What it Was.

Leap of Faith Friday - Goal is fearless honesty with myself. Unintentionally, the longest post in history.

Elk Island Crew, I'm 3rd from the right, and Jeremy is the long hair next to me.

When I moved to the Grand Teton National Park in 1997, the first person I met was this guy named Jeremy. My first impression was, well, unimpressed. He wasn't my type, and he was standing on a log smoking a cigarette. He was cute, in a round about way, but his glasses were dirty and I thought he had funky teeth.

Jeremy showed me and Erin where our dorm room was, and he left. Erin, my roommate, said almost immediately 'he's cute, I'm going to ask him to go on a bike ride.' She walked out the door, and Jeremy and Erin dated that entire summer.

I spent that summer having fun with all the other guys, but because Jeremy was always around, he and I became friends. My impression of him never really changed, he was definitely not my type... he wasn't exactly Erin's type either. But, for her, he was convenient. She wanted a boyfriend, and I did not. He wanted a hot girl, so it worked well enough.

I moved back to Oklahoma for the winter, but returned to the park as soon as spring returned, I was never going to leave again. Erin and I had kept in touch, but she blew off Jeremy as soon as she went back to Durango. He was torn up about it, I tried to console him... let him know that it was what it was, a summer fling of convenience.

That summer Jeremy and I became the best of friends. I learned who he really was, and grew to have nothing but admiration and respect for him... but I didn't ever like him 'like that.' If there was ever a guy that I could chill with, and just be myself around, it was him. We worked together, went camping, hiking, biking, fishing... his friends were my best friends too. We were a tight knit crew, and I was very happy.

Intermission time - Enjoy some more pictures from that summer.

Beau & Piper (he is Jeremy's best friend too)

Liam, Piper, Jeanne, and Lane (he's since summited Everest)

Ryan & Piper (he's a dentist now, with six kids)

Liam & The Grand, I'm driving the boat.

Beau (a fishing guide now, currently in Patagonia)

I also met a guy named Mike later that Summer. On paper, Mike was everything my family would want me to have. I was feeling heavy pressure to settle down and get married at the time, I was 22 after all. Jeremy never liked Mike. None of my friends liked him, but I didn't pay any attention to their cautions... I had a man who wanted to get married! This would make my family happy, so I thought I was happy.

I left Wyoming for Mike... with a heavy heart, a sick feeling in my stomach, and my head in the clouds. Mike and I got married four months after we met.

Throughout my marriage, Jeremy and I stayed in touch. Just a phone call, or two, a year. A short 'how's life' conversation, or an emailed photo of my family.

Erin and I even took a couple of trips back to go camping, we always made sure to connect with Jeremy. I was always content when I was around him, I felt safe. Safe wasn't something that was a part of my life otherwise.

Several months after my marriage ended, I left a message on Jeremy's answering machine... 'Hey Jeremy, this is Piper, remember me? I haven't talked to you in more than a year, hope you are well. Call me sometime, and tell the guys hello.' Jeremy called me a few hours later, we caught up, he said 'it sounds like you need a vacation, why don't you come up here?'

So, I took a vacation. We had the best time... more fun than I had had in years. Just before I flew home, I grabbed a paper. When I got home, I turned to the classifieds, and called about a job. Three months later, I packed up, and headed back to Wyoming... to live again. I rejoiced! I felt like I was going home, only this time I would get to raise my sons there. I would be able to raise my boys in the mountains, and give them that life. This had always been my hearts desire... to raise my sons in the mountains.

I had no intentions of dating Jeremy, or anyone. But, just a few short weeks after I moved there, at a bonfire birthday party, Jeremy got down on his knee and said 'Piper, will you be my girlfriend?' In my head I said 'WHAT?! Jeremy? Jeremy wants me to be his girlfriend, after all these years? I don't like him like that!' But, I said out of my mouth 'Okay!'

The next day I asked him if he remembered what he asked me the night before... after he was sure to be sober... he said, 'Piper, I have always liked you. I've always wanted to be with you, I finally just got the nerve to ask.' While the whole thing was extremely sweet, I was still shocked. I had never, ever, thought about Jeremy as a boyfriend. But, hey, if he really felt this way, I would be happy to give it a shot... also, since I was betting on him being too drunk to remember asking me, I thought he would surely not remember me saying 'okay.'

Jeremy & The Grand

So, we got started dating. He fell in love with Jackson and Noah, and within a few months, I caved, and fell in love with him... hard! My house was only four houses down from his. I never asked him to, but he took Jackson to Boy Scouts, and helped him with his homework every night. He doted on Noah, and took him everywhere he went. He mowed my yard, and plowed my driveway in the winter. We were together constantly... and I was happier everyday. Life was full of nothing but fun, and constant adventure.

My pretty home on Crabtree Lane

I was the first girl that he took to meet his family. His parents in California, his aunt in Texas, and his grandma in Utah. We traveled to skateparks throughout Idaho and Utah with his pro skater friends. He taught Jackson to skate, and snowboard. I had never had a better relationship. I believed that I was in love, and I was sure it was right. I would have married him in an instant.

After what felt like eons of paying $1,200 rent, and struggling constantly to pay it, I started thinking about 'the next step.' Teton County is the wealthiest county in America, everything is expensive. But Jeremy owned his three bedroom house, and rented the other two rooms... so his part of the mortgage was less than half of what I was paying in rent, and he was always at my house. He was a 34 year old man with every toy under the sun... dirt bikes, mountain bikes, a boat, a four wheeler, a half pipe in his yard, a snowmobile, an awesome truck, etc. He also made more than double my salary. I was barely getting by financially, and he was shelling out two grand for another toy.

Photos of a bachelor pad, inhabited by three snowboarder, fly fishing junkies.

Can you blame him for spending all his time at my house?


Five Star Luxury

I got frustrated one night, gathered my nerve, and asked Jeremy to tell me what his plans were for our future. He said that he hadn't ever thought about it. That he didn't think about the future, he lived in the moment, and was perfectly happy how things were. He had no plans to move his roommates out, and he definitely wasn't interested in even thinking about marriage. He was comfortable. He also said that he was getting tired of the 'responsibility' that came with my boys. He said that he loved them, but he thought I needed to buck up and find a job making more money.

After the shock of these statements wore off, I got mad. Being mad changed my thought process, and I realized that he didn't really love me. I was convenient, just as he had been convenient for Erin. He was a responsible guy, raised in a good family, so the time and attention he gave to Jackson and Noah was just him 'doing the right thing.'

About this same time my Mom was getting sick. She was not well, and I started feeling like I should be closer to her. I wanted my boys to be closer to her more than me.

I called my step-dad, and he rented me a moving truck. Jeremy helped me pack my stuff. I cried and sobbed, buckets of tears, I was heart broken. Jeremy was distraught... I was certain that with us gone, he would start reevaluating his own life. I knew he would miss us, after all, he had said more than a million times that we made his life better... he felt empty before we moved there, and I had filled a hole in his heart. We kissed goodbye, and promised to see each other again soon. We did not break up.

Once in Oklahoma, he called me often and sent me a plane ticket to come back. I went to see him five months later, and for two weeks we were a happy couple again. Then he told me that he was lonely, and missed us, but he still wasn't interested in a 'serious' relationship.

I flew back to Oklahoma realizing that Jeremy had spoiled the sacred ground of my first love... Jackson Hole. Everything about life there now included memories of Jeremy. He was the first person I met, and the last person I saw as I left. I was angry. I never loved him as much as I loved those mountains.

Jeremy called me a few weeks after I got back, and said that he was dating the girl who moved into my old house. He wasn't interested in continuing our relationship any longer... it wasn't convenient.